“Love is willing the good of the other…and then doing something concrete about it. It’s not an emotion, it’s not an attitude. It’s a move of the will. To want the good of the other, and do something about it. That’s love. Now once you see that, you see that love is altogether reconcilable with ‘not being a very nice guy’ sometimes, ‘not being a gentlemen’ sometimes. And what I mean is: ‘tough love.’ You know, if you’re challenging someone who’s caught in an addiction, and you got to say some pretty tough things, make some really strong demands, you’re being anything but ‘nice’ at that moment, but you are being a person of love. Or think of the call to conversion. My generation hardly ever heard the call to conversion. We heard ‘God is love’ – ‘and therefore everything’s fine.’ But the call to conversion is ingredient in love. Why? Because ‘love is wanting the good of the other.’ If someone’s on the errant path, someone’s in a sinful state of life, the loving thing to do is to get them out of it – is to shake them out of their complacency, change them. So love is utterly reconcilable with being ‘not a nice guy,’ being ‘ungentlemenlike.’ ‘Love,’ as Dostoevsky said, and Dorothy Day famously quoted him, ‘love is a harsh and dreadful thing.’ ‘Nice guys aren’t harsh and dreadful’ – well, maybe not, but people of love can be…because love is a willing of what’s truly good for the other. ”
– Father Robert Barron
Found at the 7:59 mark in this YouTube video (10:07 total) by Father Barron.